Plus last week I was consumed with helping out a sweet, dear teenage girl from our old church back home. Still talking with her, so pray for that situation. God knows the need.
Sophie went to the ENT last Wednesday and she will have to get tubes and her adenoids removed the last Friday of the month. My poor baby has to have surgery! But, I pray this will help her not have so many ear infections and her hearing should improve too! (then she won't have any excuses as to not hear me! LOL!)
I've also been planning Levi's first birthday. I can't believe my little man is already going to be ONE! If feels like I just had him, so very tiny in my arms at the hospital. Oh how they grow so fast!
So..I finally got a minute to catch up my blog. In light of planning my son's birthday party, I felt the urge.. or I should say.. had the thought, that I needed to invite my dad's side of the family. I have 2 cousins about my age. One doesn't live here though, but the other one still does. She has 3 boys. Then my aunt, my dad's sister. And finally my dad's brother and wife. Not to go into details but we don't get together with my dad's family anymore. It started after my mamaw died almost 12 years ago and after my papaw died 2 yrs ago that finished it off. There was a feud, fight, and serious nastiness over my papaw's estate. Mainly between my father and aunt. So, long story short, my father wants nothing to do with his family.. which is my family. Now, for those of you that don't know, my father is not a christian. No one on his side of the family is a christian. My papaw died, to my knowledge, not having the Lord and it broke my heart. So, the closest thing to any type of Jesus that family has is me, my mom, and my aunt who is married to my dad's brother. That's it! And now we don't see them anymore. How are they going to see an example? How are they going to see the love of God really displayed? Will they get it from the work place? I pray so... Will they get it from a neighbor? I don't know? But, last night the question popped in my head. Why don't you invite your cousin, aunt and uncle to Levi's party?
Now.. my father has forbidden the names of the above to be mentioned in his presence and if something happens to where it cannot be helped, he proceeds to get very angry and rant and rave. So, I'm thinking.. well this could be a problem considering the situation. But the more I thought about it, the more I knew it was what I need to do. If I have the opportunity to reach out to my own family and show them love and compassion then I have to do that. Something so simple as a birthday invitation could show them I may be my father's daughter, but I am a child of the heavenly Father first. I don't agree with how some of the things went down, but I forgive you and I love you! What will this simple act say to them? They probably won't come because of everything, but at least they will know I was thinking of them. Trying to reach out.
So, today my heart began to waver as I began to realize I would have to tell my father what I was doing before the party. Maybe inviting them would be disrespecting him? (even though I don't agree with him) But the more I kept thinking about it I just knew it was the right thing to do. When Levi was just about 2 months old we came home so the rest of the family could see him. The Lord spoke to me and told me to stop by my cousin's house that weekend, so she could see him too. When I pulled up, I noticed my aunt was there too. My cousin was so excited that I had stopped to show them the baby I really thought she was going to cry! Before I left I hugged both their necks and told them I loved them. That has stuck with me and come back to my mind so many times. My mother told me later that my cousin had spoken to my other aunt and was telling her that I had stopped by to show them the baby. My aunt told my mom how my cousin could barely tell her because she almost cried again! What does that say? A LOT! What if I hadn't followed the prompting of the Holy Spirit? So, I know I must invite them. But just to make sure I heard it loud and clear, today during my book reading time the Lord spoke again. Anne was telling a story about a man she witnessed to, and this was the exact words she used:
"..that his obedience to his heavenly Father took priority over his earthly father.."
Whoa! It doesn't get much clearer than that! So, please pray for me as I seek God's guidance and wisdom about this. I need his wisdom to know the right words, God's words, to speak to my father when I call him and talk to him. I pray that maybe by me trying to reach out to estranged family and show them forgiveness, mercy, and most importantly love, that it will get my father to thinking more about his relationship with the Lord and how he needs one! Maybe this will start an opening to the anger and darkness he has in his heart right now. Just the smallest crack, but God can get his light through the smallest holes!
Please use me, give me wisdom and words. May this be all for you and your glory. May my father, aunt, uncle, cousin and all my extended family see Jesus and not Brandy. May they say.."wow, something is different about her. She's changed and I want to know more about that change!" Please use this vessel for your will, your kingdom work!