My Babies!

My Babies!
One, two, three reasons to follow the Lord!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Busy, but good

This weekend we went home to visit family and friends. It was busy, fast and a little hectic but it was also good. Charlie didn't get in until about 4:00 Friday pm and then we got up early Sat and took off for the big KY. We dropped our cat off to donate to someone else(long story I'll tell another time), came back to visit with my parents for a bit. Then went to his parents. Left the kiddo's with Chet and Linda and went to meet Zack and Lauren for dinner. That was great! We ate at Cheddar's and it was tastey! Cape doesn't have one, so we were excited to try something new. We had some really great fellowship with our friends who still haven't come up to visit us sense we've moved here, even though they keep saying they're coming..... LOL!! (you guys knew it was coming)
Then we went to our old, will always be our home church on Sunday, ate lunch and headed back home. Charlie left at about 8:30 this am for OK. CRAZY!! I LOVE YOU baby for all you do for this family!

Ok.. so I really don't have a new church update because we weren't here to go to a new church. This Sat. we will visit La Croix again and continue to see how that goes and if God lays this church on our hearts. I'm not sure if we will go to our current church Sun or not? We haven't discussed that yet?

I have felt very close to the Lord this past week and weekend. Sometimes it's like that, isn't it? We feel Him everywhere. He's right there with us! And other times it's like He's a million miles away. It's those times we really need to buckle down and just walk it out. Keep going even when we don't feel anything, hear anything, see anything. That's FAITH! That's were the rubber meets the road. That's getting down to the basis of where you are as a Christian and how you handle the voice of God. Sometimes He's very quiet. I have really felt pressed lately to be more still. Be quiet and know He's God. Be soft and listen for the voice. I pray that I'm growing from this and this will strengthen me. It is in the good times of our live we really need to press into God and soak up as much as we can. Because when the drought comes, and they always do, we have to use our reserves. We have to hang on, sometimes with a death grip just for a small bit of peace. If we don't fill our tanks when the good times come, how will we have the strength, the faith and the knowledge to do it when the valleys are long and dark. When we are scared out of our minds? We have to learn and study and get the word in us when we're on the mountain, to be able to face the valleys! If not, we will never survive!

Thank you Lord for your word and for what it does to us and for us! May we all be challenged, including myself, to take our bible study to the next level! Open our minds to understand all you have for us in those Holy pages!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

So we begin..

Charlie let the praise team leader know yesterday that he will be stepping down. I spoke with my friend and told her I would not be able to help out with the children's ministry. Everything went just fine. I feel a peace as we begin again our journey to finding a church home. We will transition slowly as to ease the girls into it. I know it will be hard for them. They have made some good friends at our current church. But I know God will help us and them too. So we will continue to go to Christ Church some and slip out some Sunday's to visit. I pray the Lord shows us our home quickly, but as long as it takes.

I was speaking to my friend Lauren(who I get to see this weekend!! YEAH!) about God's timing. I have learned so much over these past couple of years to really trust God's timing. But sometimes that is VERY hard for me. I can be an extremely impatient woman. (no comments from my husband please. LOL!) But at the same time I am very excited. I'm trusting and believing that God will send us to a church where we both can be used for His kingdom. I would love to get back to singing or drama or both. I adore watching my husband play drums, it so blesses my heart. I know he must continue. So, we will continue to pray, follow and trust. Isn't that all we really can do as true followers of Christ. Those truly seeking His heart and will. We must be persistent. We must not stop, stray or fall of the wagon. We have to search Him out like a lost treasure. Something of our greatest desire. Passion. We must have passion. The kind of passion that our Jesus had that lead Him to the cross. That same passion must be within us to ultimately lead us to the foot of the cross. Humbly bow, seeking the right path.

Thank you Lord for showing us this first step. Thank you Lord for beginning to open doors. Please lead us to them that we may stay on path, on track, on focus of You!

Sunday, February 14, 2010


AAHH!! The day of LOVE! I love Valentine's Day. My darling husband sent me a dozen roses. Six pink and six red. They were beautiful! He also sent the girls their first red rose! It was so sweet. They just loved it! I had reservations for the two of us at the Melting Pot in St. Louis. Charlie had no idea what we were doing so it was really fun. That is our first trip to the Melting Pot and let me just say... WOW!!! If you ever get a chance to go I HIGHLY recommend it. A bit pricey, defiantly reserved for special occasions, but boy was it AWESOME. The food tastes where just indescribable. We serve a great God who gives us such goodness on this earth! He has made for us some amazing food and herbs. For my Owensboro friends, there is one in Nashville so enjoy if you can! (if you haven't already)

We have our answer. It did not come as I thought it would. God works, but not in ways we think He will or sometimes wish He would! I kept waiting for a word, a phone call from a friend or my mom telling me something that I would go... OK! There it is! Nothing like that happened. The only thing that did happen was a reflection in my mind and heart about everything Charlie and I had already talked about and all the bible research we had done. Everything we were feeling came back to me. So on the way to St. Louis Saturday, I asked Charlie what he thought and if the Lord had spoken to him. He was like... NO, I didn't really get this awe struck answer. All week I just kept reflecting about the conversations, the research and how we were feeling. So immediately I knew!! I told him I had done the same thing! That was confirmation! God is so awesome to us! He does hear and he will answer if we are willing to truly seek him!

So, we will be finding a new home church. It will not be easy, so please pray for us as we begin the transition. Please pray the Lord leads us to a church, especially were we can be used! I really feel and believe God is already opening doors for us that we don't even know yet. Charlie and I want to desperately be in His will, so we will seek Him daily in prayer to make sure we end up where He wants and needs us.

I leave you all with the most awesome Valentine the world has ever known.

"Greater Love has no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends"

"For God so LOVED the world, that he have his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

Happy Valentines Day!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Prayer can be a scary thing sometimes. If we don't hear for God does that mean there are things in our lives that need to be adjusted so we can be more in tune with Him? Or is it just His way of telling us to be patient and trust Him?

I believe most of the time it may be we do all the talking and not enough listening. That is what I am working on. Being still and quiet. Listening for God. It is really new and something I really don't understand right now, but I'm hoping over time it will become more clear to me how to really "HEAR" from God. That is my desire. To be so in tune with Him that we talk. Seriously talk.

I talk.. then he talks. He tells me what his burdens are so I can be a greater impact for Him. I think this week that one has struck me the most. Asking God what burdens Him so we can also feel that burden and in turn become even more effective for the kingdom. For if we know and understand what breaks the heart of God, we will be one step closer to helping in ways we never dreamed we could.

May this be our new prayer. Open our eyes. Speak to our souls and tell us Your burdens. The burdens you have for your people, families, children, nations. Jesus calls us a friend. A FRIEND! When you know a friend has a burden, you want to help. You want to try and take away as much of that burden as possible don't you? That's part of being a good friend. Sometimes I think we take God's friendship as a one way street. We dump all our stuff on Him, asking for fixes but never stop to ask or consider what's going on with Him. If our earthly friends treated us like that, I dare say they would not be friends for very long. It would become extremely burdensome!

So.. with all the "dumping" going on and very little helping skyward, I KNOW God has some pretty big burdens. They are named all through out the bible and I know things haven't changed in God's heart. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Inquire of God's burdens. How can we help? What can we do Lord? I love that song... Give me your eyes so I can see.. Give me your love for humanity. Give me a heart for the broken hearted. If we know what breaks the Lords heart, we are that much closer to truly knowing our Saviour!! And isn't that what we as Christians are trying to do. TRULY KNOW our Saviour! I pray that's what we all are seeking!

Lord forgive me! I'm probably one of the biggest "dumpers" out there! Forgive my selfish heart. Make me known to Your burdens that I may be the most effective woman of the Most High God that I can be! Help me and show me how to be a better friend to You!
I Love You!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Happy Birthday!

Oh my goodness!! I totally forgot to mention that today is my little brother's 30th birthday!! Wow.. that makes me feel old! LOL! My little bro is 30. I told him "welcome the the 30-something club" It's not as bad as some people say. Actually I've kinda liked it so far. A lot better than my crazy, messed up teens and my even stupider (yes it is a word) 20's.

I'll take my 30's proudly!!

SO.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY little bro!! I love ya-- you scrub!!

Being Specific

It's been a couple of days since my last entry. A lot has been on my mind and heart. We still don't have an answer, but I'm believing and praying for an answer by the end of the week. I was reading in my book again, continuing my Magnificent Obsession, when it came to a part about God's will and how to seek it. She was like.. "have you prayed and read your bible and still don't know what to do?" I'm like... "YESSSS!!" So, she went on to give 4 "runway lights" that she goes by to know if she is in the will of God. They are as follows:
  • practical circumstances
  • the counsel of mature, godly people
  • inner conviction
  • the confirmation of God's word
So, when all these lights begin to line up then she knows she's in the will of God! So.... me and Charlie's inner conviction light has been on for some time. So, I believe what we are feeling is correct according to God's will. Anne went on to talk about a decision she was trying to make and wasn't really hearing from God and how she began to pray VERY specific.

So, Charlie and I have agreed to pray this week for an answer by the end of this week. A word, a song, something we see or hear or read. Anything that says, "yes.. you stay" or "no.. you go" Then we will know what to do and how to go from there. I'm really excited and have felt better this week. Nothing yet, but it's only Wednesday and I know the Lord will reveal His will for us. We just want to get it right!

Dear Heavenly Father
I come to you again in request for a confirmed answer, confirmation about what we are supposed to do. We need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we need to leave or stay. We need to know what your will is for this family. I pray for a specific answer. A "yes go" or "yes stay" by the end of the week. Give us a word, a sign that we may know how to continue on this journey. I thank you for your love and caring for us.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


Well, this weekend has been both good and confusing. So much so I have felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. Sat. night we went to the church we've been visiting to hear the guest speaker finish up the MADE series. His name was Michael Franzese and he was a former high ranking boss in the New York mafia. He gave his testimony about how God changed him, saved him, and is still protecting him because no one has ever left the mafia and lived! It was an awesome service. I bought his book so I'll fill you in once I read it.

So, today we go to our church. Charlie had to play this morning. I already told you how I got a call from my friend asking to help out with the children's ministry. Then today the head of the nursery asked if I could help them. Then Charlie tells me after church about the praise leader telling him what an awesome job he does and what a gift he has and how much he appreciates his drumming and how he can just flow with the Holy Spirit.

My head and my heart hurt! Is this the Lord telling us to hang in there and stick it out. But what about the things we don't agree with? They are some pretty major things. I do know that wherever we go or whatever we do, Charlie needs to play. If you could see him play you would know why I say that. It is so moving, so awesome. This is his gift, his calling. I know he is scared. Scared because he wants to play so badly, we have a church where he's appreciated and needed, and will we find a place for him elsewhere? I know he's scared to move!! That's what I felt today watching him worship on that platform. That was my cry! Lord.. You have to open a door if we are to go, because he is scared to move!!! He LOVES playing. It is his passion. And I would gladly place my talents on hold and place him ahead of me! So, I'm asking for some serious prayer this week. To know what this all means? To know if we are to stay or go?? And if we are to wait for awhile, do I go ahead and serve?

I cry out Lord, on my knees. Face down and humbled. What do we do? Things feel like they are coming to a head! We haven't been going to this new church long enough to know if there is a place for Charlie. And we haven't really heard from heaven to know if we are supposed to be there either. We are crying out to you Lord for guidance. We want nothing more than your will for our lives and family! PLEASE hear us and help us to know what to do. Please make it crystal clear so we will not miss.
Your humble servants

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Tired today

So I got NOTHING done yesterday due to my baby boy not feeling good. All he wanted was "mama". I think he is trying to cut more teeth and he was very needy.

That's partly how I feel. Tired and needy. I need to know what to do about church. Charlie and I both do. He is currently playing drums for the praise team. Him and another guy trade off Sundays. So, there is a lot of connection there that will have to be broken. Then I got a phone call this week from one of our friends from the church asking if I would help out with the children's ministry as her and her husband(who is the other drummer btw) are taking over the program.

Ok.. so about the time Charlie and I decide and feel like we need to "relocate", I get a phone call that indicates an area of needed help. Is this the start of my purpose? I still really don't think so. Not in this church anyway, but it seems the pressure is on to start moving out. But where??

So now lets talk about confirmation! This is the fun and cool part of how God works! So, we have been visiting a church on Sat. evenings that we really like and the pastor has been preaching a sermon series called MADE. He is discussing how God shapes people and molds them for greatness and service. He has spoken on Joseph, Paul, and King David. (we missed one service due to a birthday party)

Joseph was fashioned in the dungeons of Egypt. Paul after his encounter on the road to Damascus went into the wilderness (asia) for 3 years to be alone and pull everything together. To be silent and figure out God's calling for his life. And David was faithful in the small things. Tending the sheep and protecting them from predators. God was molding him with the small things until he was ready for the big things. So Zack, your words about King David... almost exactly what the preacher was teaching! Confirmation. Anne Graham Lotz talks about Joseph in her book and how Joseph would have never chosen the prison, but God knew he needed that time. Confirmation!! I'm waiting for Paul to pop up somewhere, but so far it's given me chills to know my God thinks so much of me to reassure this little house wife that I am not forgotten. I am precious and He is making a path for me. I have grown in my faith since I've been at home. I have studied more and looked deeper into God's word than ever before. I have begun to memorize scriptures. Hiding the word in my heart, that I might not sin against my awesome God!! I have felt a closeness that at times, it seems He is sitting right next to me when I pray.

So Lord, I pray now as I continue to walk out my faith that I grow, gain understanding, and increase my faith. I don't know what You have in store for my future, but I know You hold it all in Your hands. May this time of solitude create in me a masterpiece that one day You shall reveal to the world. All for Your glory! All for Your kingdom! Thy will be done in my life!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

My endless landscape

Ok.. so my desert has gotten so big I feel as though I'm in the middle looking around to endless sand for miles and miles. One of the reasons I feel like I'm just hanging out for God is we are starting to look for a new church. AGAIN!! Not pleasant, and I'm really feeling down, confused and upset about it. That has been the hardest thing about moving here is finding a church. Our current church we have attended for about a year now, and I really thought this was going to be it.
However... it has started to shift in a direction that I don't believe fits this family. I don't feel as if we are to "shift" with it. So, I've been praying. And Charlie's been praying and we've got.... NOTHING!

I don't like silence. It's so deafening, isn't it? It would be so great if when you came to God with a problem or needing guidance he would just say.. "Thy and thy people shall go to this church.." But as we know, it doesn't work like that.

So, I'm reading today in my book (Anne Lotz) and the book is about Abraham. And she's talking about Abraham asking God for a sign to know God's promise about his future seed is true. God told Abraham to make a sacrifice, Abraham did, and then he waited. And waited... all day. Until the Lord came to him and confirmed his word.

So.. I have asked, and prayed, and sought His face. And I will continue to pray and ask and seek His face. And wait.. Until I have my confirmation as to what we are to do. Where are we to go? I want a HOME church so badly. So does Charlie. We want a place where we can be used. Where us and the children will grow in our faith. Be strengthened and renewed.

So Lord God.. I am asking again for your wisdom to know where we are to be. Where we are to serve and worship. A place that feels like family. A place where we can be used for the kingdom. A place you have for us. And I am waiting.. like your servant Abraham.. I am waiting.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Starting off..

OK.. just got done reading my friend's Lauren's blog and now I'm inspired to start one of my own. I love the idea of it. Almost like a prayer journal. Ok, so I chose the title of the blog because that is how I'm feeling and the quote came from Anne Graham Lots new book "Magnificent Obsession" that I am reading. (which everyone needs to pick up and ready by the way!!)

So, after being in the work force since the age of 18, I am now a 33 year old stay at home mom to a 9 year old daughter, a 5 year old daughter and a 10 month old baby boy. I'm not doing anything in the current church we are attending and I feel like I'm just "hanging out". I don't know my place in God's kingdom or His plan. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing? I don't understand my purpose right now?

So.. the quote. "wasting my wilderness years". Anne talks about the same thing in her book(stay at home mom, not sure about her call from God) when her mother told her not to "waste her wilderness years" In other words... take this time of break to study.. grow.. learn.. draw closer to the Lord then ever before so when your time comes, and that call comes, you will be ready.

This is my blog.. my journey through the wilderness. My time of waiting and preparing. And so I will write my thoughts, my struggles and achievements. I will write and hopefully see myself grow in my faith and relationship with God. So, when I get my call. When I hear that voice say.. "I need you and it is your time" I will be ready.

So.. here we go!!